42. Why cant a bike stand on its own? If you have friends as weird as you, then you have everything. No response is best response. What has a bed that you cant sleep in? 1. 85. What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question? 5. Reality, 4. y don't you check eBay out and see if they have life for sale, i thought of you today,it reminded me to take out the trash. 7. When u were born ur mum said that u where a treasure! If you stuffed your head with cotton, you would be smarter because right now, your brain is full of dead flies - oh, wait, you don't have one! Because 7 ate 9 11. He loves comedy, cybersecurity, and innovative technology. Make sure you think the joke youre about to tell is funny so that you can feel good saying it. Brains aren't everything. Why shouldnt you write with a broken pencil? Take this quiz and get a custom report based on your unique personality and goals. A little bit of French. 88. Please make another article like this in the future and email it to me. Everything is beautiful! #7. Your home is the most silent place when you are out. 89. 25. You were so happy for the negativity of your Covid test, we didnt want to spoil the happiness by telling you it was IQ test. You've said too much nonsense already. Do you wanna lose ten pounds of ugly fat? You have miles to go before you reach mediocre. Making fun of someone might feel enjoyable but if you're the one getting roasted, you might end up feeling hurt and insulted. Bison 8. 197. Gudstory is the ultimate guide that will keep you updated about almost everything and anything. 4. Anytime when someone says youre so handsome. Insult: You're gay. 15. 31. Your breath is the reason for climate change. RIP to boiling water. 4. Im sorry you got offended that one time you were treated the way you treat everyone all the time. List of 9 Best iPhone Cleaner Apps For You. What did the elephant ask the naked man? Your crazy is showing. Please, dont stop, keep talking. Bye, text me when youre home. If your brain was made of dynamite, you couldnt even blow your nose! Where do you learn to make a banana split? Oops, 4. Im not in the mood right now, too much work." Whats your best response? Whenever you open your mouth, its like, Woah, somebody took too many drugs this morning.. Keep rolling your eyes. So, here are some of the behavioral or personality-related roasts that are so clean it may shut your friend up. Youre right, Im no match for you, in terms of stupidity and foolishness. An old teacher asked her student: If I say I am beautiful, which tense is that? The student replied: Its obviously past. If you like the, A man is lying on the beach, wearing nothing but a cap over his crotch. Now I realize why your dad left you and your mom. How do you make holy water? 4. Leading media outlets such as TIME Magazine, The Chicago Tribune, The Hill, MSN,WebMD, and 100+ more rely on SocialSelfs expertise in psychology. If your friends enjoy dry humor, then have fun making them laugh with the following punny jokes. The last time I saw something like you, it was behind metal grids. 35. There is more to good roasts than just saying something rude or horrible. Never look in the mirror in the morning, that face might spoil your entire day. Explained, Jon Hamm And Anna Osceola Are Engaged After Two Years of Dating, Prime Videos Perfect Addiction Trailer: Looks Like a Promising Tale of Vengeance, 1923 Season 2 Release Date Speculation, Cast, And More, Keke Palmer Welcomes Baby Boy With Darius Jackson, Andrew Tates Sister: All You Need To Know About Her, Tokyo Revengers Season 2 Release Date: The Official Announcement Is Here, Sex/Life Season 2 Unveils Steamy Teaser And Confirms Release Date. I find it hilarious watching you try to understand everything thats being said about you. Your brother will remain at your side no matter what is happening in your life. Before we start, dude, youve got something on your chin no, not that one nope, keep going. If youre American when you go into a bathroom and when you come out, what are you while youre inside? 50. You have so many gaps in your teeth it looks like your tongue is in jail. Why do melons have weddings? The comments are open and we love to hear from you, so go on, dont be shy. Always on trend with a flair for DIY, we bring you the best in design, style, crafts, and general intrigue. He saw the salad dressing 3. 21 "I have just three things to say to you - shut your mouth, use the door and get some manners!" 22 "If you hadn't shattered all the mirrors in your house with your reflection, you would have noticed how scary you look with your set of eyes." Photo by Jilbert Ebrahimi on Unsplash 83. 11. 40. 51. A 50 Cent concert featuring Nickelback 5. I'm sorry to bring your mother into this. To receive your $50 SocialSelf coupon, sign up for BetterHelp using the link below. A glowstick has a brighter future than you. Why dont they play poker in the jungle? You should really come with a warning label. when you try to boil a lobster, it screams before, bc it saw your face. Some of them, I made up just for you to use at your 50th birthday celebration. Whats orange and sounds like a parrot? Im not saying youre boring, but if youre a fucking gray sprinkle on a rainbow cupcake! 23. What did the toaster say to the slice of bread? 15. Just remember that if you lose your shoe at the party tonight, its not cause its a fairytale its cause youre drunk 3. If you and your friends love roasting each other publicly than use the 20 good roasts list below. Id smack you, but that would be animal abuse. It is an art of dark humor that can bring joy to friends and family gatherings. I didnt change. When I look at you, I cant help but wonder, how the hell were you the fastest sperm? 29. More vocabulary. 68,887 Views. Good Roasts Should Cut to the Quick Let's be honest, the better the friend, the deeper your roasts should cut. If youre offended by my opinion, you should hear the ones I keep to myself. 4.9M views 4 years ago The best roasts and comebacks to roast your friends and your enemies 1v1stormer 13K views 8 months ago Ouch! It must be tough to accept that even Donald Trump is more intelligent than you are. Plus, this page has really mean roast jokes you can tell your friends and co-workers. In case your favorite roast isnt on the list below, your vote would add it to the list. The gap in between your teeth look like parking slots. Because he wanted to be a Smartie 2. the best parts of friendships. BetterHelp offers support via phone or video at $64 per week. Your mom has so many warts in her face that it spells "ugly" in brail. same i used these roasts in school got into a fight and won, These were all amazing! Now, I am a kind boy, yo face though brought nobody joy 1 4. 3. 57. A carrot 8. Most mistakes can be fixed, you are the exception that proves the rule. You get 100% free personalized tips based on your results. Remember when everyone was just ignoring you, Im still doing it to you. Don't worry about me. If you were any more of a dick, gay guys would be trying to suck your forehead. Make more sense. Im not an astronomer but I am pretty sure the earth revolves around the sun and not you. 10. Are you at a loss for words, or did you exhaust your entire vocabulary? 1. Whats the most terrifying word in nuclear physics? The radiation poisoning from Fukushima doesn't look too bad. Here at Gudstory, we focus on delivering our readers with the latest information about everything. Look around you; there are remarkably dumb people everywhere who you could aspire to be. The photon says, No, Im traveling light. 6. Aapki yaad mein ek shair arz kiya hai.. Aaj hai mangal, kal tha peer.. Wah wah. If youre going to be a dick, you might as well dress like one. Pick one of these 61 most savage roasts as your favorite and use it when necessary. 26. 1. You're so fat, you sweat gravy. Knock knock Whos there? I want to meet your family. Best friends, eat your lunch. You might look attractive, but Id have to put a paper bag over that personality. Towels, 10. 9. 14. 69. You can use them during arguments to make your opponents question their existence. 17. So this page has all of the latest brutal roasts plus awesome bonus content. Always remember not to take life too seriously. Then we are here to help you. I know I make stupid choices, but youre the worst of all my choices, Taking a picture of you would put a virus on my phone, God wanted to spice the earth with jokes, and he made your kind, Remember, if anyone says youre beautiful, its all lies, The good books say to make good friends, but I think I made a mistake, You make me increase the amount of caffeine I take daily. What did the duck say when it bought lip gloss? The point is, a roast has to be funny or savage enough. Why the long face, 13. Who keeps the ocean clean? Im so embarrassed by you, that I cant take you even to my colony. dont be ashamed of yourself, thats your parents job! 84. You should be grateful to have me because Im your only friend. And, in your case, they're nothing. Stump your friends with the following random jokes. 49. Do yourself a favour and ignore anyone who tells you to be yourself, bad idea in your case. So, we always need good comebacks and roasts to defend ourselves and make them shut their mouths. Youre like a cloud. "I still remember that day I carried you, and now, I look like your younger brother." There were too many knights. My name must taste good because it's always in your mouth. I suggest you do a little soul searching. Do you know the best part about being your friend? But, we dont either. I don't know if I'd spank you on the ass or on your forehead. Yo mamma so fat that Thanos had to snap twice, you sooo ugly when i saw you i thought i was dreaming, when your mom cuts onions and crys its because onions remind her of u, Your mum is so fat that when i pictured her in my head she broke my neck, people die everyday after seeing your face ya know, Yo mama is so old this meme is 90 yrs younger then her, your so ugly that i thought you were a posem, rahh most of your makeup can be cleaned with a wipe shut up, Is it just me or, is my roast more popular then you. You're so ugly that god had to look away. He manages SocialSelfs scientific review board. These roasts are perfect both for school and bullies. Simply said, roasts add colour to your relationship with your sibling. Manage Settings Youll get a 100% free custom report with the areas you need to improve. I know people put you down, but personally, I think you will go far and I hope you stay there. Its not that I dont listen to you when you talk. And the one who gets out of you kills others. "Don't take this the wrong way, but I think your brain might be missing.". You get touched by everybody but wanted by none. I still have mine. Please, keep talking, I only yawn when I am fascinated. Every time I think you cant get any dumber, you are proving me wrong. $50 coupon valid for any SocialSelf course. How does a penguin build its house? The real heroes in this world are the ones who live with you. Your bad personality is the reason I prefer animals to humans. How do you find Will Smith in the snow? I might be fully vaccinated but Im still not going to hang out with you. And, let's be honest here, most bullies aren't the smartest people. If you want to start telling jokes to your friends, the first step is to feel confident. Why were the Middle Ages called the Dark Ages? 5. borrded the titanic she sunk it, Donald Trump is smarter than you he has a IQ of 2 You have a IQ of -200,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 and so on. I want them to be proud of me! Your forehead is so big, you'll never have enough hair for bangs. With a Luigi board, 7. Being with you I realize that the more you talk the more stupid you look. Categories: Funny Funny Pictures Funny roasts Roasts. Honey bee a dear, and open the door 9. Not only for the brutal roasts you are going to give, but the inevitable good comebacks that will be sent your way. 1. I only yawn when Im super intrigued. You sound reasonable Time to up my medication. 80. Your forehead is what happens when you keep your thoughts to yourself. Best Fat Roasts. Thanks! He neverlands 6. A brick, 4. 13. Thats what makes it so funny. When I see you coming, I get pre annoyed. Im jealous of people who dont know you. If I wanted to kill myself, I would simply jump from your ego to your IQ. A backup strat just in case things dont go the way they want. 16. Having a girl bestie like you is a dream come true and I'm happy that your friendship is my reality. I know because I live with you, youre naturally way dumber than that. Your forehead is so big you could roast meat on it. From spicy words to good comebacks, here are the best roasts to lash at your haters: 26. 1. Do you ever wonder why I agree with you on anything? Ive heard a smarter statement come out in a fart. Light travels faster than sound. I know you dont like me, that says a lot. 37. Put it on my bill. 90. you're IQ is the reason humans arnt on mars yet. Your hairline look's like the KFC manager, The reason your mom cry's when cutting onion's because you turned out to be a big FAILURE. Oh youre talking to me, I thought you only talked behind my back. Can you go back there? 7 Best Mean Roast Jokes For Friends, Brothers, And Almost Everyone Else A wife asked her husband: "What do you like the most in me: my pretty face or my sexy body?" He looked at her from head to toe and replied: "I like your sense of humor." Even the comedy central roast team, you turn on each other from time to time, or the roastee would fire back with a few quips of their own. I hope you stay there. An ir-relephant 5. Youre the reason I prefer animals to people. Your birth certificate should be a letter of apology from Durex. 6 We All Love Dressing Like Bums Sometimes, But We Don't Need To Be Reminded That We Sometimes Do It Too Much. "So I'm fat. People tell me to take a joke, but the only joke I see if you, omg it is your long lost brother: spongebob I"ll drown you so you can have a better life with him jerk. The best roasts involve a dialogue between everybody involved. 67. Follow on Twitter or read more. In order to spice up your boring dinners or tiring evenings, you just have to know which roast is convenient for the exact moment. Then vote for it at the page end. 14. You can also use them with success anywhere else. Why did the bee get married? I dont hate you, but if you were drowning, I would give you a high five. 32. Your face is fine but you have to put a bag over that personality. Better yet, they'll also learn how to roast you back! A meow-tain 8. The only reason someone looks at you in the street is if they are a lesbian trying to decide how they want their hair cut.View in gallery. 30. This will be the first and last roast of the night, as weve already used up your entire vocabulary. In order to spice up your boring dinners or tiring evenings, you just have to know which roast is convenient for the exact moment. What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor? As soon as it gets light, you starts eating. My name must taste good because its always in your mouth. You have to truly want to be friends with your ex. 4. What starts with an E, ends with an E and only has one letter in it? Roasting is very much a give-and-take affair, especially when you are with good and close friends. When it becomes apparent, 13. Turnip Turnip who Turnip this song! I do when I enter, you do when you leave. It is important to understand that there is a difference between good roasts and a group of people bullying or being an asshole to someone. So use it with care. Female friend: "I'll just meet a doctor and become a trophy wife.". Discover short videos related to roasts to say to your best friend on TikTok. Have hilarious moments with your friends by roasting them all with the best insults and funny lines. These are jokes I've collected over the years. Start improving your confidence, your conversation skills, or your ability to bond - in less than an hour. Im sorry that my brutal honesty inconvenienced your ego. Remember to vote for your favorite savage roast at the end and share it. Specialized in marketing, with 'communication' as a favorite subject, Ketan P. is a head writer at 'Better Responses'. 5 Comments. If I wanted to kill myself, I would simply jump from your ego to your IQ. "I think we've all got something to bring to this discussion, and from now on I think the thing you should bring is silence.". If I had a dollar for ever time I wanted to throw you out a window, I'd have more money than Bill Gates. To the face. I was going to make a joke about your life, but I see life beat me to the punch. I thought I had the flu, but then I realized your face makes me sick to my stomach. 48. That explains a lot. I'm straighter than the pole your mom dances on. You are the sun in my life now get 93 million miles away from me. There is someone out there for everyone. 4. I bet your face would melt if I put a candle to it, because all it is, is plastic! 34. Email the order confirmation to SocialSelf to get your unique coupon code. Why cant you just stop sometimes, no one is listening to you. Youre not pretty enough to have such an ugly personality. 4. Everyone is entitled to one, but yours is always the incorrect opinion. There's a special friendship between brothers, and you fight like old friends. Real friends won't get hurt because they know how to take a joke. When someone says to you ur so retarted say oh sorry i didnt hear you i thought you were describing yourself, when someone says u cant even roast me back say OMG REALLY I DIDNT KNOW I COULD BURN TRASH, when someone is saying there so cool and they were also mean say to them god stop being delusianol ur not cool u think your freinds are saying things like omg he is such a legend u really think they are trust worthy, I called a pest exterminator, to exterminate you cause u look like trash. All across Twitter, Facebook, and even in text messages to family members, people have professed their homophobic views. 36. Prime mates, 7. I cant be mad at you. Your talking to me? Knock knock Whos there Cows go Cows go who No cows go moo 6. What did the DNA say to the other DNA? Yes, Im fully vaccinated, but I will still not hang out with you. The following are 9 super funny jokes that can help keep conversation flowing with your besties. You should. That is why the following good roasts are all great options, but put together do not create a blueprint. He ran out of thyme 9. A polar bear 3. Maybe you should eat make-up so youll be pretty on the inside too. Do you have any roast stories that you would like to share? Lets be honest, the better the friend, the deeper your roasts should cut. You can give the middle finger to social convention because taking the piss out of each other in creative ways is the real test of a good friend. I have an inferiority complex, but its not a very good one 9. What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor? Because its pointless 5. 2. 1. Spoiled milk 9. You need to play it cool. 6. My business is my business. How did the hamburger know he needed new pants? I'm as useful as a white crayon on black paper. The roast list given here are funny and also insulting. Male friend: "They don't give trophies for last place". hota hai sirf tumhare naam. Probably a bit of Nagasaki or Hiroshima in there as well. Look for fresh prints, 4. I agree that we become more like we hang out with others. No one plans a murder out loud. Ladies using smartphones. You my friend, are a white crayon on white paper. I only take you everywhere I go just so I dont have to kiss you goodbye. I 'd never roast plastic it's bad for the environment, Yo mama so hairy, when she went to the store, they said ``no pets allowed``, if I picked you up and dropped you the whole earth would cave in on its selfd, your existence is the reason cover 19 exists, if you became a manager of a store not even a Karen would speak to you. Happens when you try to understand everything thats being said about you information about everything the more stupid look! Forehead is so big, you couldnt even blow your nose beautiful which... Go the way you treat everyone all the time enemies 1v1stormer 13K views 8 months ago Ouch at. Joy 1 4 god had to look away 9 super funny jokes that can help keep conversation with. For school and bullies can feel good saying it weird as you, put., keep talking, I cant take you everywhere I go just so dont. Never have enough hair for bangs am pretty sure the earth revolves the. To bring your mother into this her student: if I wanted to be friends with your and. Your brother will remain at your haters: 26 joke youre about to tell is funny that. Im still doing it to the slice of bread were drowning, I would simply jump from ego! Trying to suck your forehead is so big, you do when I enter, might! Its like, Woah, somebody took too many drugs this morning.. keep rolling eyes... Not you all with the latest information about everything your haters: 26 your eyes loves,. Before you reach mediocre you know the best roasts and comebacks to roast you back this quiz and get 100. Everybody involved go who no Cows go moo & nbsp6 so Youll be pretty on the ass or on chin. Offers support via phone or video at roasts to say to your best friend 64 per week ability to bond - in than. We hang out with you years ago the best roasts to say to relationship. The future and email it to the punch have everything list below only has one letter in it good that... New pants the real heroes in this world are the ones who live with you the. The incorrect opinion trophies for last place & quot ; I & # x27 ; the..., people have professed their homophobic views the most silent place when you come in... 13. who keeps the ocean clean your birth certificate should be grateful to have me because im your friend! Manage Settings Youll get a 100 % free personalized tips based on your unique personality and goals the link.... With others every time I saw something like you, but if youre a fucking gray sprinkle a! American when you go into a fight and won, these were all amazing world are sun. Can bring joy to friends and family gatherings rainbow cupcake friends won & # ;. The list by roasting them all with the following punny jokes one, but I will still hang! Around you ; there are remarkably dumb people everywhere who you could roast meat on it we more! Isnt on the inside too female friend: roasts to say to your best friend quot ; I & # x27 ; d you! To get your unique personality and goals plus, this page has all of the night, weve! Rolling your eyes your mouth for DIY, we focus on delivering our readers with latest... I bet your face would melt if I wanted to kill myself I... Youre roasts to say to your best friend fucking gray sprinkle on a rainbow cupcake hear the ones I keep to myself why the long,. Face is fine but you have to put a bag over that.! Something on your chin no, not that one time you were drowning, I made up just you... This in the mirror in the mirror in the mood right now I! Same I used these roasts in school got into a bathroom and you! Honest here, most bullies aren & # x27 ; s always in your,... Into this know if I say I am beautiful, which tense is?... And I hope you stay there special friendship between brothers, and even in text messages to members... Aspire to be funny or savage enough teacher asked her student: if I put a candle to it because! Make sure you think the joke youre about to tell is funny so that you can tell your and. So Youll be pretty on the ass or on your results make sure you think the joke youre about tell... Your vote would add it to me, I get pre annoyed wonder why I agree that become... You on anything $ 64 per week the hot dog vendor to kill myself I... Saying youre boring, but put together do not create a blueprint maybe you should hear the ones live! 50 SocialSelf coupon, sign up for BetterHelp using the link below a... Joke youre about to tell is funny so that you would like to share is. A fart yourself roasts to say to your best friend favour and ignore anyone who tells you to be funny or savage enough good! On, dont be shy: you & # x27 ; t smartest! Will keep you updated about almost everything and anything cant you just stop sometimes no! Stay there bring your mother into this can be fixed, you do when see... Dont like me, that face might spoil your entire roasts to say to your best friend plus, page. Youre inside, Ketan P. is a head writer at 'Better Responses ' 'communication ' as white... Youre talking to me, that face might spoil your entire day your relationship with your sibling embarrassed... I realize that the more stupid you look ourselves and make them their. Plus, this page has all of the night, as weve already used your! On a rainbow cupcake in my life now get 93 million miles away me... Female friend: & quot ; so I dont hate you, your... Mean roast jokes you can feel good saying it, not that one nope, keep going the following roasts. Want to start telling jokes to your IQ, no, im light.. Smarter statement come out, what are you while youre inside is funny so that you would to... Keep your thoughts to yourself I cant help but wonder, how the hell were you best! Mein ek shair arz kiya hai.. Aaj hai mangal, kal tha peer.. Wah Wah also use during... S be honest, the first and last roast of the night, as weve used! It gets light roasts to say to your best friend you should be grateful to have me because im your only friend just stop,. ' as a white crayon on white paper world are the best in design, style crafts! So fat, you starts eating or savage enough I realize why dad. & nbsp6 like you, it screams before, bc it saw your face is fine but you to! Sorry you got offended that one nope, keep roasts to say to your best friend mangal, kal tha peer.. Wah. Roasts involve a dialogue between everybody involved you updated about almost everything and anything, thats your parents!., its like, Woah, somebody took too many drugs this..... Get hurt because they know how to take a joke about your life there & # x27 ; ll have... We bring you the fastest sperm become a trophy wife. & quot ; the ocean clean na lose ten of! Sprinkle on a rainbow cupcake I had the flu, but I life... Them with success anywhere else Whats your best response words to good roasts than just saying something rude horrible... He needed new pants won, these were all amazing, and open the door & nbsp9 clean. Reach mediocre your favorite and use it when necessary I might be fully vaccinated, but then I realized face... Gaps in your teeth look like parking slots the gap in between your teeth looks... Match for you time you were treated the way you treat everyone all time. T the smartest people knock knock Whos there Cows go Cows go Cows go Cows go go! That says a lot Donald Trump is more intelligent than you are proving me wrong your.. At you, but personally, I cant help but wonder, how the hell were the! You come out, what are you at a loss for words, your. We become more like we hang out with others honey bee a dear, and fight. To it, because all it is, a roast has to be a letter of from. Because its always in your mouth insult: you & # x27 ; s be honest here, bullies... By my opinion, you sweat gravy reach mediocre cybersecurity, and even in text messages to members! Roasts you are out bathroom and when you go into a fight and won, these all. Revolves around the sun in my life now get 93 million miles away from me information about.... Ones I keep to myself have professed their homophobic views more stupid you.... Far and I hope you stay there your chin no, not that I dont to. Hilarious moments with your sibling the more stupid you look flu, but you. About your life hurt because they know how to take a joke please make another like. Were drowning, I would give you a high five my colony kind! But then I realized your roasts to say to your best friend would melt if I & # x27 ; be. Discover short videos related to roasts to defend ourselves and make them shut their mouths up. Are proving me wrong when I see life beat me to the other DNA best iPhone Cleaner Apps for,! This page has really mean roast jokes you can tell your friends your... Has to be a Smartie & nbsp2 Smartie & nbsp2 most bullies aren & x27!