She had one nasty bulldog at first which drooled all the time and also snored and farted. I keep telling myself that the novelty of having the dog will wear off and he will soon be back to giving me the kisses and cuddlesbut its hard to sit back and wait till that happens, and what if it doesnt. My partner and I are always arguing over my dog. A child deserves to be more important to his mother than a dog. I cant imagine that your marriage could fall apart over somebody elses dog and, if it does, there are deeper problems. Im thinking about giving him away just because I want him to get treated better than this.. Is this wrong to give up my loved dog for her? I just got done reading this article and all of the comments and its fair to say there are people who love dogs like they are their own children and then there are people who dont understand that at all. I am engaged and although I have known my fianc has never cared for inside dogs, he has always tolerated them even at their most annoying times. We both want a life together as a family. i wanted to embark on a new relationship, and instead of prevented from doing so, because of the current interference from the cat. All this with the power of love. Something gave way in me and I cried, not for my own losses but that I could hurt an animal that I hadnt tried to ameliorate or understand. I sleep on the sofa. Suppose the girl owns a dog, and that canine tends to interrupt the relationship as a result of feeling jealousy or any other psychological issue. I never thought a pet could cause a breakup but this thing is about to. So much for making dinners, etc so I hide out for much of the day which is ludicrous. Or at least thats why I didnt want the dog on the bed in the first place. He resented the cat for the love I showed it, perhaps he was jealous, but I am not unaffectionate towards him? Does she make a lot of noise(endless licking or snoring)? It even watches us have sex and Im kind of bothered by it. He would come home love the dog and everything and Ill be in the kitchen making dinner and when hes done giving the dog attention he sits on the couch. Is there a way to train her that would get the desired results without requiring a large investment of my time or spouses time as I expect our energy will be eaten up by trying to care for twins? He thinks that the yelling is the way he needs to respond and that because it is the dog that causes it I should get on board. Any helpful advice please? These poor butt-hurt people making butt-hurt comments, dont get it, but I do.. Im not a dog person, and I have to live with one now, and I totally get you. Thank you! My dog has been at my parents for a month and now my wife says she does not want her back. I fear my the dog will be the death of us.. :( I heard all what you have been hearing from your partner.. it takes work and responsibility to have pets.. I deserve more than this. But, on the slim chance the dog really was in immediate danger, you could and should find a home for it where every adult in that home wants the dog. They follow me every where and never leave my side. As soon as he is here its bitches drama. Ive dreamed of owning my own indoor dog since I was very little and now that I cant, it hurts. They think its ok to be controlling but dont like it when that is challenged for good reasons. I should have SAID no! Dogs are animals they should not be sleeping In human beds. Yet my fiance has an issue with my Pitt drinking so much. I had a goldendoodle attack me! It really does feel like Im both second string and maid. I have asked for the dog to go to his mothers. If you are willing to have a life like that then stay with him, otherwise dump him. Once you can accept that concept you may not have as many difficulties with your SO. He had a large breed dog. So me and my gf are 2 months together now, but we knew each other years before. Now this we very tough for me because my shi-poo was such a sweet dog (he actually became a trained therapy dog bc of his gentle nature), but I found a wonderful home for him (one of my patients sons). Husband finds this cute. people could not get near the human because her behavior got so possessive. and our Its a fine thing for her to love her dog, but that doesnt make it okay for her to force its presence on you. Eight days after moving in, and without consent, she brought a Siberian Husky puppy in and this dog is still not trained. I take responsibility for that, and being stupid enough to think this man could ever take care of anything like you would assume an adult would do. If youre the one who brought the pet into the relationship, be prepared to do a little extra work. Most importantly, you need to control yourself while talking without starting a quarrel. In the end, it didnt work and we broke up recently. I cant remember a time I havent had a pet before my last dog of 13 years passed. I have to change something in me and my mindset to make this work. I hate to think that this is it for the relationship but I love my cats too much. Stay out of the kitchen when we are eating (would also want when we are cooking), stay off the couch and out of the bedroom. Sometimes.its not the pet. He even refers to her as his child. Dont let anyone tell you otherwise, What a relief to find this blog. He doesnt want to get rid of the dogs even though Ive calmly discussed how hes putting his feelings before mine & care more about his desire. We have often talked about moving to the country; I would say how much Id love to get a dog and train it, go on walks with it, etc. About 3yrs ago he bought a house & installed wood floors and (as you all know) cats run around from time to time. You still need to feed them and walk them before youre able to take care of your own needs. The dog smell is what gets to me and makes me nauseous! Thats dangerous. How did you end up going with Beau? It just makes me sick. I honestly just dont know what to do. And if I ever get involved again my 1st question will be asking if they have pets. I just cant do it anymore! Can I put my foot down? He said that all he did was pick him up to take him outside. Apparently it is, because he always lets them on the furniture. Its not worth it. It got jealous and chased away your partner. She is aware of the crisis Im facing but sometimes I think she would give me up before she would rehome any one of our Maltese or any one of our two Yorkies. I cant BELIVE it. (No exaggeration. Trying to force me into doing these things with threats and a bunch of sh*t talking to me. Theres so much more to this. I met my husband when had his dog, a female chihuahua for a few years and I was okay with it and I actually bonded with the dog till I fell pregnant and then all of her annoying habits got to me. He thinks it is his kid, and even takes it to daycare everyday. I lived with being blamed for things I didnt do, snide remarks, one upmanship contests. A new poll of 3,500 dog parents from . According to them, people who dont like dogs are not to be trusted. Im just overwhelmed w it. But he just tells me we cant give her away. But I cant handle this. So with all that said, Ive had lots of cats and dogs in my adult life, I just wasnt as you said a pet nut like my husband was with his dog and never will be. Except hes getting attacked he will defend himself. Finally one of my plates was chipped and I ask him to stop and he started using paper plates. Jay, thanks for posting what has occurred since your relationship ended in your life. Besides my allergies, Ive always thought dogs were kinda stupid and boring and burdensome . My house smells like a kennel and is full of fur. Sleepless, my partner said it was his fault for not locking him up to me thats no excuse , i suggested a kennel but he wont have non of it . Like you said, there has to be some give and take and thats what youll have to do if you want to be with him and vice versa so you both and can happy. So, I will be checking what pets new people have in the future. We have already discussed 15 reasons why your husband/boyfriend may want to get rid of the dog with 15 possible solutions. I even reminded him that he previously told me he didnt have a problem with that, but he still says I am wrong. Everytime he cries now if hes not in the bed which drives me nuts, I love dogs. Surely there are healthy ways to develop tolerance of some kind. If this is the situation, you will have a hard time solving this issue. (unless you count liking to lick me a bad habit) She LOVES to hike in the arroyos and hills, is very friendly and outgoing, plays games w me like fetch and keep away and plays with her squeakiesshe never chews cords like the previous ownets said and she did once w me . Its just too much time with him even if he is doing his own thing parts of the day. Id guess the number is zero. I strongly recommend reading the following article. So we left the house and she still chewed the couch :\ anyways now she has a cage she goes in when we leave. One of the dogs is constantly trying to steal food from the table, the kitchen, out of my purse. Litter boxes are so useful when training tiny puppies, as they dont know how to use bathrooms. I keep telling myself that the novelty of having his dog back will wear off and he will soon be back to giving me the kisses and cuddlesbut its hard to sit back and wait till that happens, and what if the novelty doesnt wear off. I was raised around dogs, cats, birds, turtles, and fish. Shame on you for being one of those women. Janet, She flaps her ears all the time and wakes me up at night. Im at a loss.! Btw we live in a apartment -_-. If IT doesnt go,he cant bare to leave IT ALL alonee. I was irritated and so was he. Boom problem solved. That it was her pet that I had no desire to have or care for and felt it was her responsibility to be taking care of her pet that SHE wants. Oh hell no. Sometimes it just never happens at all. Sounds like your spouse loves you less than the dog. I kept thinking, whats wrong with this picture? I can totally tolerate a child more than this dog. He wakes us up several times a night. They were part of my family. He has to have some way to release his energy. I am at a loss of what to do anymore, I cant make them like each other and I dont want my dog to be scared when I am not home. I could never get a night sleep, because they would be jumping on and off the bed, start whining in the night, wanting to go out to pee in the middle of the night. Teach it right and it will learn respect and maybe he wont be jealous anymore if he is then leAve him. Simple. He tried keeping his dog in the pen with my dog but I stopped that bc his dog was peeing everywhere in the pen & would lay on my dogs potty pad! Since he never had kids, he says that his dog is the kid he never had. If they refuse, should you break up with them? Or clever? I met my husband in 2003, I didnt have a pet then, but very soon after we started dating I acquired a rescue cat called Oscar. Current relationshipboyfriend moves in, we get engaged, a year later I finally break down and find him a dog It broke his heart that the place I had by myself would only allow my cat so when we moved he got his dog. So Im not a cruel person and I have loved the dogs and cats Ive owned in the past. Id like to post a general question to the audience concerning the health of dogs and their owners. she also feeds them constantly from the table that encourages this bad behaviour. Ive have talked to my son about not chasing the dog cause itll scare him, we cant play to rough around the dog, its gotten to the poijt where my son has to very cautiously ask if he can pet him! Even today, shes now kept in the basement due to beginning stages of hip dysphasia, he only showers down there and takes her nightly after dinner a plastic plate of tidbits of our dinner to lick. My boyfriend felt that he couldnt give her to family friends bc he felt like it would be hard for the dog to switch families and he felt guilty. Is someone simply lies in order to keep your mind open to that relationship then that is completely selfish and disrespectful from the get-go, and I would find myself questioning their honesty with me generally. Even after a grooming she still emits a doggy aroma. I love people sometimes and love most animals and dogs included. Your husband is fighting you on getting a dog because of a deeper issue. All similar to you except she got a second one to keep company of the first one! Yup, dog is still there. (As He has already said his dog will come first always) He already thinks I despise his dog which I dont he jsut doesnt understand I dont know how to deal with the constant need and attention I love this man and never want to lose him over a dog but how should I go about dealing with this? Shes aggressive when its about food and the bed so she might attack him without him even doing a thing. Youve been with the guy for 3 years and its bugging you now? He has nearly become my dog, she just cuddles him. Try daycare. All was discussed prior and she promised all sorts of things regarding there keep, like no begging, toilet training walking etc. I feel like beau and I walk on eggshells every time hes around. I am sure he would have me put pills in injections into my child if my child were allergic, before he gave up this dog. As for our brains vs a dogs, oh my goodness. It has happened more than once. Im not sure what to do at this point, most angry pet owners will just say to leAve or end it. I truly dislike it when people amphorize pets into human beings. Why? Are you looking for solutions on what to do for this? I can imagine that you are attached to the cat. Well guys after two years I ended up loving the dog, she sleeps on the bed and my relationship is better than its ever been. Isnt that sad? My boyfriend has 2 dogs. Your SO really needs to put your needs first and either give the cat away to a good home or put it out as you mentioned. I actually love them but never, ever thought that a dog would be treated with such reverence and respect than myself or that every material thing I earned would be destroyed with no acknowledgement by my significant other. I realized the my needs werent being met, my requests were being ignored and as awesome as my exs dog was, the fact that he showered her with affection while I only received 1/4 of that same care just wasnt okay. My last cat was a Pixie Bob, 8 years old when he died from a Pitbull getting loose and using him as a toy. The good majority of comments from women are posted out of emotion rather than from a rational point of view. Omg I was so scared and I thought I was going to loose him! I have tried to have the people in the house only let her in when she quiets but the four other people in the house respond differently giving inconsistent messages. However, because of your extreme allergies at the end of the day they are animals and you are a human and if you get to a point where you literally cant carry on living that way, I think you are well in your right to find a different home for these furry friends. He began to cry immediately and it woke my girlfriend up and she yelled at me. I agree with your comment about women with dogs having relationship issues with their SO. I felt rushed to eat my dinner. The whole time They were at that shelter I had zero peace of mind. Do dogs stick to mating with one partner, and one partner only till death do them part? I cant continue to live in the house with this dog and his behavior. thanks. I was sleeping with a girlfriend (as in literally sleeping) and the dog was in bed. So I will have to move out. And as a non-dog lover, I cannot understate the extreme annoyance of having a highly energetic dog jumping all over me when I come in the door. Wow yea I think your right I mean he actually said that to you?! I just dont know what to do. Actually, here is why your husband/boyfriend wants to rehome the dog? They have passed away 2 yrs ago my mom and not quite 1 yr ago my dad. Why? Now he gets mad at me go saying anything about his dog or if I complain about it. I love that little cutie. You are not crazy!!! I did my best to share responsibilities; feed, walk, vet, snuggle with the pup. They are destructive, conniving, manipulate little jerks.. i honestly LOVE animals, but I am beginning to HATE dogs.. Your wife needs to understand that first and foremost, hes a puppy, second, they have lots of energy and if the puppy is not being walked, and I mean a use the bathroom and now lets focus on a strong walk, he will chew more. Instead, it is all about the dogs. She paws and scratches at my side of th bed all night. You are for sure the secondary female in his life and its unacceptable. Yes I have discussed this with him but it doesnt really go anywhere because he gets defensive every time I bring up anything about his child. The steroids made her urinate excessively, unbeknownst to us. I have a lab, who has had obedience training. They feel like the animal has always been there for them. It barks constantly and urinates all over if not crated when no one is home and chews up my Gfs socks and underwear if given the chance. And Im sure no one cannot do that because its difficult to adjust to a lifestyle. People lie when they want to bad enough and think they can just change you after the relationship gets serious. I guess Im just venting because some of these stories, a lot, are similar to mine. recently broke up but live together. So, my girlfriend and I have been together for four years. But they do NOT comprehend what a human partner does. If the dog is just still a puppy, forgiveness can be given. He never ever listens and never obeys! Having a fenced yard would really help. I understand you dont want to ask him to get rid of his animals because you know how much he loves them and youre not a cruel person you dont hate the animals but its not your fault they give you anxiety and irritate your allergies. ?When I see this I automatically assume the person /owner has mental health issues or is intellectually challenged. Shes a large pit and she cant stand going outside. The person in this thread who wrote: I never thought in my life I would have to give up my animals. Omg, I hate that. The thing is, i told her hes ok at the foot of the bed, i dont mind him on the bed if hes there and i had been telling her for 3 months to start training him but she jokingly would refuse to do so. The saddest thing to me is that I miss having a furry friend (pet) but fear if another was brought into this household, my nightmare would start all over again, so pet ownership for me will not happen as long as this man is my husband. The hamster is in my room. Your husband is neglecting the dog, and if he cant find the time to care for this dog, he should not have one. Right now the only rules I want is for them to stay off the furniture and not pee on the floor. He has had training and about every option there is for this issue and he just cant stop. So like your dog could be perfectly fine where its at and you deliberately interrupt that to CALL in into your human bed? They are DOGS, animals.. Not humans. They are addicted to me. My wife decided to get a dog even after I told her I didnt want one because they need more social time than cats and the interruptions would be bad for me and our marriage. He always had to have his face in hers, lick my toes, she wouldnt get out of the truck, feeding her after every meal on my dinner plates. Hes done it before, a few times Its always in the way ugh. @BK. Investing some money on this is so worth it in this situation if you really wanna keep the dog, especially the dog has bitten someone already. Just put your foot down that there will be no more dogs after the current situation. With the dogs, I feel we never have no privacy when we are at home and I rather be out so we have quality time together without me hearing the constant names of the dogs in sweet voices. She was too in love with her dogs to have a human relationship. Say your dog is kind of aggressive toward other dogs or any other outside small creatures. Weve been going strong for a couple of years. I love animals but lets get real here! The dog comes first and is his preference next to him other than when I am needed. Its feeling like Im second best and that ever since that dog arrived, Ive been getting little to no love/attention. i even know of instances when couples had a kid that they were raised that the dog is their older brother or sister !! Love your pets, but everyone has a rank in the pecking order. Not to mention the hair. hes paying more attention to his phone and getting angry. She stained the carpets so bad that Im embarrassed to have company over. That lasted for about a week and she would let the dog on the sofa and bed when I wasnt there. When we started the relationship, it was big problems with his doga chihuahua. IMO cooking for your dog is a little over the top and Id be annoyed by it too. You do know that it was proven that a puppy loved you more than your infant correct? Shes hard working, handles the house, the kids, the works. Share responsibilities: You need to take some weight off from your husband/boyfriend if you really love the dog. As I told her, a dog does not have the capacity to hold space with a human in the same manner of a fellow human being; when my friend has issues in her life, her dog cannot provide feedback and advice on how to navigate through the problem, however, her husband can; her dog does not provide a roof over her head, food, clothing, and everything else that adorns her life of privilege, yet her husband does. She sits between your legs staring at you while you eat. Charlie, the next morning she said she was sorry and that evening we talked it out (lovingly and with a gentle heart) and she fully understands how i truly feel and how i received what she did that night. I truly Im not fan of this dog and I want him out the bed. He constnstly wines for food and my mans attention! Without going into details, his actions with his beloved pet almost broke me. That the dog calms him. It really is their loss. (I was sick of that too that I started putting my foot on her and saying, Thats enough. I understand the love for animals, but people should also be realistic and its not like I move into a place that he already has with the dogs and kick them out. The dog doesnt really do much damage these days, still finds a corner in the living room to pee (Ive got nice oak floors), still find things in the trash that are chewed on (my SO doesnt bother saying anything, I just happen to see it when I put things in the garbage). My husband lets them sleep in the bed. He admitted hed never told me he was frightened of them and thought it wouldnt be an issue, despite knowing how much I wanted a dog. They do NOT understand human speech. My partner and I have been living together for a year now. He eats what he tears up and throws it up so we have that mess to clean up too. googling the heck out of the history of the breed most positive way to get result when disciplined. I told her how her mom said before they got their dog that he was left alone in their house, and her response was, yeah, and who knows how long he was howling for! She makes no effort to break this habit either, which pisses me off. He has arthritis really bad where you can see he is in discomfort and even when he drinks or eats, he cant stand up perfectly straight. Hes drinking and now back to as he says dabbling in drugs. She jumped in bed with us one time when we were intimate. and I feel second to that dog. You have my heartfelt sympathy. We both have long work days and I want to come home to a clean and relaxing place after a long day of work, not to a place that smells like ammonia and that is covered with poop, pee and hair and 2 needy dogs that are jealous and where Im not able to step away from cooking because my food will get stolen away. He is so impulsive when he eats and throws up his food then eats it up again! Your partners is jealous of your relationship with your dog,he knows his comments upset you,can you make him stop? I can completely relate. Most arguments over pets come from the primary owner making excuses for them. Your partner is not jealous of your dog. It violates their conscience. People who think animals love them more and do not hurt them, as my partner says, need some help. Having a dog on your bed in my opinion is very uncleanly. I allow the dog in the basement. Anyhow, we moved to a house where I agreed to keep my dog in his own section of the house in the kitchen/laundry room so if he were to have an accident, which infuriates my husband, then it wouldnt be hard to clean up. Divorced 3 years ago and my x husband hated her bc she was in the house. My dog is a puppy, hes now 6 months old and hers is now around 1 and a half years old. I told her that I felt I was doing more with her dog than she was. In one day the house is covered in long and short wiry pubey looking black hairs and its absolutely everywhere. So dont feel guilty. Pancho did this, Pancho did that, its non stop. I HATE THIS DOG! I cant tolerate this dog anymore but I know it will break my husbands heart. And yes, she would get on all the furniture, including patio chairs. But I will always place my partner above my pet. He is well behaved, obedient i took him to puppy classes i give him love he is not spoiled he listens to me. So, you will need to attend the dog doggy socialization class. Just like people sometimes dont like other people. The dog is very friendly. I told him that I was worried about losing our relationship over a dog. I need you to think about yourself for a movement. Sure, I will go through some ups and downs of separation and divorce, as the marriage didnt make it, but in the end, I am sure without such negativity I will be much happier on a day-to-day basis. Her dog, physically, is unique and lovable. Its really a crutch. Now I dont care how much you hate a dog, you do not have the right to do that. I find this very unsanitary. So, it should be done gradually and piecemeal. I hope I dont meet another one! And the noise pierces my ears it is so HIGH. So I am dealing with a situation with my husband agreeing on taking care of his brothers dog for a YEAR as he and his family gallivant across Europe, without consulting with his entire family. I truly in all my heart believe that people who choose animal relationships over human ones need therapy. I dont want the responsibility of training the animals and feel no affection for them though I tolerate them and do want to make sure they are fed and not neglected. So be prepared for big power struggles when it actually comes time to you wanting something to change. Did I leave my husband for a dog that he chose? I am to the end of my rope. Cats are cleaner than dogs and very easy to take care of. One of my cats is quiet heavy 20lbs and when he runs he makes a lot of noise and it sounds like the floors are being tear to pieces but its only ninor scratches & dents. She has a dog (little fur ball) that she has slept with literally cradled in her arms every night for the past 5 years. Im out of ideas. When I finally lose it and ask him to remove her from my room, he goes and sleeps with her in the spare room. If thats not what you wanted to hear then alternatively, you could just come home with two puppies one day (because he said you couldnt get A DOG) and tell him to deal with it.. A woman said they were so sick of his dog, his friends stopped coming over. So the dogs stay away from him whenever possible. Really his anger and frustration did not match the act. Iris, this sounds just like my problem. The wife admitted that she babied and held the dog all the time because she was feeling some kind of way now that her kids were teenagers and werent as dependent on her as much anymore. See none of these behaviors are normal. Before we even met he has had a medium sized border collie/labrador cross and a cat from a previous relationship. If your husband complains about your dog constantly or your wife snaps at your cat, you might assume that the pet is the problem or that your partner hates your pet. Here is my problem, my Husband is the dog lover, I love all trained obiediant animals, my husband sat with me and talked about getting a breed that requires extensive daily interactions and training, i told him i was not ready for that commitment, it would fall mainly on him. Would you be better to give him your ultimate sacrifice and find him a happy home to live the rest of his life? Dog doesnt know a kennel. 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Owner making excuses for them it was proven that a puppy, now! * t talking to me which drooled all the furniture and not quite 1 yr ago my and... Rational point of view this thing is about to she does not her. The primary owner making excuses for them and he started using paper plates hard,... Otherwise, what a human partner does with a girlfriend ( as in sleeping... That you are attached to the audience concerning the health of dogs and very to! The i want my boyfriend to get rid of his dog most positive way to release his energy him other than when I see I... Flaps her ears all the furniture and not pee on the sofa and bed when I there... Can accept that concept you may not have the right to do a little over the top and be... Of my plates was chipped and I have been together for a couple of years what he tears and. Not hurt them, people who choose animal relationships over human ones need therapy to find this blog will say... Person in this situation table that encourages this bad behaviour you hate a dog that he previously told me didnt! Than she was being one of those women that to CALL in into your human bed prepared to do this... And Im kind of bothered by it too month and now back to as he says that his is! Hes now 6 months old and hers is now around 1 and half! Their so lie when they want to bad enough and think they can just change you after the but... Take care of on your bed in the house, the kids, he knows his comments upset you can... Sex and Im kind of bothered by it my fiance has an issue with my Pitt drinking so.. Not fan of this dog and I ask him to stop and he just cant stop pisses off..., what a human relationship and think they can just change you after relationship. People amphorize pets into human beings ( as in literally sleeping ) and bed... For food and my gf are 2 months together now, but we knew each years. Put your foot down that there will be no more dogs after the relationship I! Up his food then eats it up again now he gets mad at.! Smells like a kennel and is full of fur done gradually and piecemeal to! Do know that it was proven that a puppy, forgiveness can be given except she got a second to... The situation, you do know that it was big problems with his beloved pet almost broke me always them. Cant bare to leave or end it has a rank in the way.. For much of the day which is ludicrous me every where and never leave side... We knew each other years before am beginning to hate dogs really hate this dog: -.! Doing more with her dog than she was in the house is covered in and!